Welcome to 2019

For heavens sake...It has been 5 years since I wrote here.  Preston will be 9 in March and Talia 6 in June. I am working at Newsome Home Health in Joliet as an intake coordinator and love my job.  Tina has taken a new job with Greencore as a Quality Systems Manager and is working through her company's acquisition by Hearthside. A big change for her but the challenge is a welcome one.  Its been a long/short five years and a lot of things have changed.  The primary thing that has impacted me the most is my dad moving into an assisted living community in North Carolina.  No longer in Oak Island where my brother still lives.  This change is big for him and while he is safer in the new environment, he misses all the memories he has of living on Oak Island.  And this move has greatly affected me as well-- and I didn't even realize how much until we visited this past August.  Gone are the days of playing golf with the Lions Club on Oak Island--dad cannot play any more at all now. (He really misses it although he wont say.)  Gone are the walks around the neighborhood of #10 and the cookouts on the back deck. Gone are the swims in the pool and the view of alligators from the back porch. Fond memories all...sadly now I think of them when I should be happy to have had them at all. I pray  to God to try to understand why I am depressed about this change in my dad's life. And then I realize, I am depressed about the effect it is having on me and I also realize I am empathizing with my dad because I know he misses the Oak Island days as well. Ever since his caregiver Anna died at the hands of a careless operating room/hospital staff, life for my father has not been the same. But there is no changing the past.  So, as I write these thoughts quickly, I also know that with the grace of God I will persevere and get stronger and find a way to have peace over the change aging brings to us all.  I stopped drinking 6 months ago and am working hard to stay healthy so I can continue to be the father and husband God means for me to be. 2019 is a year full of promise and new beginning for the kids and for Tina and myself.  I will write more.  Often. God Bless.