2020 off to a ragged start

Things change quickly and emotions can rule the day. Tina underwent a surgery to remove two papillomas that were benign and she is recovering with some soreness and nerve pain. Dr Klade had us follow up with an oncologist who explained Tina’s risk for developing any atypical cells or precancerous cells is less than 5%. More exercise weight loss and healthy diet are the needed tools to keep the risk low. 

We celebrated my Dads 100th birthday in January with family and friends at my brothers home in Oak Island. The Mayor if Caswell Beach came and read a proclamation declaring the day Joe Kitchings Day. Unfortunately dad got sick in the early morning hours of Sunday March 15th and he died a week ago in the morning hours of March 16th.  We had a Zoom video conference with family members yesterday to share feelings and stories about dad, grand dad and great dad. My heart has been so sad. I should be asleep but had to write in order to control the emotions flowing throughout my soul. 

And with the health crisis causing us to practice social distancing and shelter at home a full blown case of depression  is trying to settle in. 

Reflecting on 2019

Living through the eyes of a person who has failed to find peace of mind has kept me off balance for most of the year. I have so many things to be thankful for starting with my sobriety of 14 months. The people in our children’s lives keeping them safe and engaged. Our health. The movie car. My round of golf of 81! Preston’s development at Dominon Martial Arts.  His acceptance into the Young Naperville Singers.  His participation on the worship team at church. Tina’s new job. Talia’s increased talent at drawing. Her outstanding learning in first grade. My excellent review after an earlier disappointing one. My good Lung CT scan. Tina’s good thyroid scan and X-ray. 

Looking forward to continuing (starting to reread what I’ve forgotten) Men In Green— momentarily saddened by the words “just another misstep in a long series of them”; reflecting on them realizing regardless of how those words apply to my life I am where I am today in a good safe place. Need to  just focus on the good not the bad. God will bless me if I leave Satan alone. While I cannot go back  and change anything I certainly do lament the passing of so many dear friends and lovers over the years. 

Welcome to 2019

For heavens sake...It has been 5 years since I wrote here.  Preston will be 9 in March and Talia 6 in June. I am working at Newsome Home Health in Joliet as an intake coordinator and love my job.  Tina has taken a new job with Greencore as a Quality Systems Manager and is working through her company's acquisition by Hearthside. A big change for her but the challenge is a welcome one.  Its been a long/short five years and a lot of things have changed.  The primary thing that has impacted me the most is my dad moving into an assisted living community in North Carolina.  No longer in Oak Island where my brother still lives.  This change is big for him and while he is safer in the new environment, he misses all the memories he has of living on Oak Island.  And this move has greatly affected me as well-- and I didn't even realize how much until we visited this past August.  Gone are the days of playing golf with the Lions Club on Oak Island--dad cannot play any more at all now. (He really misses it although he wont say.)  Gone are the walks around the neighborhood of #10 and the cookouts on the back deck. Gone are the swims in the pool and the view of alligators from the back porch. Fond memories all...sadly now I think of them when I should be happy to have had them at all. I pray  to God to try to understand why I am depressed about this change in my dad's life. And then I realize, I am depressed about the effect it is having on me and I also realize I am empathizing with my dad because I know he misses the Oak Island days as well. Ever since his caregiver Anna died at the hands of a careless operating room/hospital staff, life for my father has not been the same. But there is no changing the past.  So, as I write these thoughts quickly, I also know that with the grace of God I will persevere and get stronger and find a way to have peace over the change aging brings to us all.  I stopped drinking 6 months ago and am working hard to stay healthy so I can continue to be the father and husband God means for me to be. 2019 is a year full of promise and new beginning for the kids and for Tina and myself.  I will write more.  Often. God Bless.

Summer 2014.... many things have happened. Talia is starting to walk. Tina is searching. Bill is working. Preston is singing. Illinois is getting on my nerves...so much traffic and road construction once the winter passes. But I am blessed by God to keep the faith and wait to see His plan for us. My heart is broken over the violence in our world and nearby. Helpless, but strong in prayer. Home not going to be built in Plainfield as planned, but home is still out there. Neighbors are moving tomorrow and Preston will miss his brown skinned brother and family that cares for him so much. He is strong of mind and we will always tell him he is good and powerful, so he will persevere. Talia says daddy, go , bye bye, down, blows kisses, and chatters with meaning every day. We are surrounded by people who love us and care for our children. We are providers of faith and good will. There is a circle of strength that God gives us with unlimited boundaries. We embrace His blessings and Word, we lift our praises to Him. We are so happy to have the life we live, and no matter how difficult life becomes, we are together trying, looking for moments to embrace our love for each other.  This post is dedicated to my wife who tries to understand me and love me when I am determined to be difficult, I love you endlessly..Tina.  I always remember when I called you from the rest stop on my way home from the Preston Family reunion... You are the one.

We finally did it! First part of the mission accomplished!

Wow ...what a relief after seven long years of waiting; taking classes; waiting to get into nursing school; getting started in 2011 and graduating in 2013; persevering with a detached retina and subsequent eye surgery; going to clinical with a fractured right foot; celebrating the glorious birth of our second child Talia Marie in the summer of 2013!; and most importantly, having the support of my wonderful wife Tina!  Proudly and with a big sigh of relief,  I say, William Preston Kitchings is now RN, BSN! Praise the Lord for working so amazingly in our lives! Now, as we start the adventure of building a new home, 2014 promises to be exciting. I mentioned first part of the mission. That means as many of you know, God has plans for us and we look forward with anticipation for His reveal. We are listening Lord! Keep preparing us as we grow in our family. Oh yeah...please allow me some time to play a few rounds of golf (Tina said it's okay!).

Here it is September 2013, and the second child has been with us in the world for almost 4 months! Talia Maire was born June 3rd. Very exciting to watch her and Preston as they keep getting stronger and more developed. Preston loves being big brother and he is very helpful despite wanting to climb into her crib and curl up like a little baby! Tina is doing well, struggling with wanting to stay at home with Talia, and having to go back to work. She will travel less, so that is a good thing. Dhe is also getting her blackbelt as an auditor very soon, so that makes her even more desirable than she already is! I have a new job since June working in home health! School is in its last semester for me, so my stumble last spring has new steps as we move deeper into fall. Graduation is December. Thanks to all the people who have given me support through these crazy times! RN, BSN is the goal, and I actually feel like I am going to make it this time. Fall in Chicago is beautiful this year, and we are having a late warm up this weekend which I always love because, let's face it, this Southern Man likes warm weather! The only negative I have going right now is that I hate seeing baseball beyond the first week of October. Here it is the end of September and the playoffs have not even started. True baseball fans probably don't care, but I cannot stand seeing fans in the stands wearing cold weather clothing to a game played in the summer. That's just the old-fashioned part of me that cannot stand the greed of professional sports owners. Anyway, out of respect for my brother, go Reds! We are looking forward to 2014 as we decide whether or not we are staying here and making Chicagoland our forever home. Once I graduate and pass my boards, we will begin to decide, open our hearts to prayer, and listen to what God is telling us to do. Until next time, love your neighbor!

Relieved

Amazing is the only word that can describe how I see the world after my eye surgery. I waited for over a year to remove the side effect from my vitrectomy in 2011. Didn't hear about that? I do not think I blogged it! Anyway, I noted tonight on my way home from class, that I was seeing so clearly that I forgot what it was like to be impaired. That is a truism. We forget what it was like before the after effect. Take hearing for example. I sincerely do not remember what it is like to hear silence. I have not heard silence since 2007 except for one brief period while I was charting in the back of the nurses station in Elmhurst hospital in 2008. It was so quiet then, that I thought something was wrong! Often times when I am listening to this constant sound, I wonder if I have been hearing it all of my life. When I was little, and I slept out in the back yard, I listened to the sounds of chirping insects. Now, that sound is what I hear all of the time. But I never give up hope that one day, the silence will return, and I will appreciate all of the nuances of sound that people without hearing loss experience. But I digress.... I am so excited that there are only three more classes, one clinical, one care plan, one final,150 NCLEX questions, and one final exam remaining in Fall semester! That sounds like alot, but it really isn't considering what we started with! Over by the 14th of December, then a month to enjoy the season with Tina and Preston, decorate for Chritsmas, and take our yearly tour into downtown to Chicago to shop and enjoy the people. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving at Tina's sister's house in Minnesota. I do really enjoy going there. I missed an opp to see JR, but I talked with him today and better days are ahead in the spring or summer. Preston had a great experience, swimming in the pool with us for the first time. He was so exicted and happy to be there, I felt so good inside! He is going to be a good swimmer! Tina shared many good times with her family, and we all got to catch up with each other as lives keep moving forward and changing as the seasons do. I find myself torn between not wanting to go to NC to see dad, my brother, and sister, and wanting to go to NC to see my dad, brother, and sister. With God's blessing, this will work out. Tina has entered her second trimester, and we are thrilled that things are going well. This time we are more accepting I think of the way things are rather than worrying every step of the way. Really? HA HA. I am always worried! Anyway, she is such a trooper, a truly wonderful woman with a heart of gold! I do love her so. I continue to be amazed at God's gifts to our family. We are truly blessed to be where we are, who we are, and have the people around us that care. Thank you Lord for the season that is upon us, and we continually pray for preparation to serve you better. And may you keep Talia Marie or Thomas Tyler healthy. To all who read this, Merry Christmas! May your lives be filled with promise!